Day 1:

Thoughts and Feels

One of the earliest posts that I left here was about grad school decisions.  At the time I was frustrated because I knew what was ahead and I was scared that I was going to fail.  But I did not fail.  April 28, 2016 I turned in my MCAA final project and I now have a Masters in Coaching.  The irony of turning in my hundredth project on soccer is not lost on me.  I have done every project in school on soccer for my entire life.  And I finally turned in my last project on soccer for a school grade.  And now its no longer about the panic of grad school but the panic about what comes afterward!  So I have decided to continue my job as a coach at UC Riverside, continue my position with Slammers FC, and take on competitive Crossfit.  Yesterday after I turned in my document I went strait to OCCF and trained with Kenneth Leverich.  So begins my Crossfit journey.  The goal is to jump in with two feet and embrace this life.  One of my biggest fears in life is of failure.  I cannot stomach the idea of failing at something that I have put my heart into.  So a lot of the time I avoid giving my heart away to something that has a low chance of success.  This way I keep my head above water and my success rate at 100%.  This will be the rebuilding of my blog that I never used to document the journey I plan to take from recreational weight lifter and cardio lover to full-blown JAck-Kerouac-travelling-the-United-States-in-a-car Crossfit addicted human.  If it ends in failure then so be it.  But I have a hunch that I will succeed.  

Crossfit at OCCF

I am pretty sure that I got a unique experience working out with Kenneth Leverich on my first day of crossfit.  It feels a lot like soccer in the sense that the elite Crossfit athletes seem like they are not that far off of where I am at now.  In reality I have a long way to go and the journey is just beginning.  

3x: 20 band good mornings, 12 L-sit raises on boxes, 20 freestanding handstand shoulder taps. -did okay on this because it was just a warm up, handstands were the hardest part, didnt get more than 8 in a row, abs were sore from my own Wednesday workout but I managed to get through easily, cheated with bent knees on a few...

4x: 500m row, 12 double wall balls 14#. -wall balls for speed really threw me off because I have absolutely no rhythm or skills in movement, I am also fully aware of my weakness with speed, that is a movement that is easy enough for me to work on and get better fast, row wasnt bad, finished the entire workout in 11:56 (I write that just in case I want to take on this set again when I am better at both movements)  -took WAY too long of a break here, we walked 400m around the building for a cooldown but then we had to sit around and wait, and chat, and there was a drop in that had to be tended to, the whole event could have taken 2.5 hours but took almost 4 because of the chill time between workouts.

20min to get to a heavy squat clean + thruster. -I got 140 for that but feel that I could have done better, coach slowed me down a bit so that I would get the form correct, if I just went all out I may have gotten more reps and been able to get higher, obviously the thruster part was the hardest part in terms of weight, got to get my head through, again speed in the clean was difficult.

5x5 back squat 2 75% of max. -at this point my legs were hurting, there was a spot on my left quad that was even cramping up a little bit so I just tried to bust these out, ended up getting slowed down by coach, "the more controlled you can be with the weight the stronger you will get", this was very hard after having done 3x10 backsquat at 185# plus 30min on the stair master earlier in the morning.

9-7-5 handstand push ups (hspu), 90# med ball over the shoulder.  -most frustration portion of the whole workout by far, the med ball was heavy and I had never strung two handstand pushups together, got my first 4 in a row (!!!), I struggled through the whole thing and got 6:50 which was slower than everyone else in the group.

50 cal row, 40 burpee over bar, 30 snatch 95#, 20 squat clean 125#, 10 muscle ups.  -again I had to modify it a little (lot) bit, didnt set my rower to calories and some guy in the gym came over and saved me while I was rowing, burpees over the bar were slow but fine, i corrected coach when he was doing it with me because he did the snatch before the burpees on accident and I called him out, so we finished the burpees in similar time, the snatched were light enough that I didnt struggle there, the cleans turned into regular cleans with no squat, I did chest to bar pullups instead of muscle ups because yeah... I cant do those either.

Overall

There was a ton of failure for me in this workout but failure is okay right now.  Failure is okay because it is Day 1.  Less and less failure will be appropriate as I learn how to do these exercises.  I also believe that these workouts can be done in much less time.  If I am efficient in my workouts I will be able to get through all of the workload in less time.  Coach wants me to start signing up for competitions as soon as I can.  SO Im going to go look those up now.

Epiphany of the Healthy Sort

So for the last four weeks I have been using an app called myfitnesspal.  The app counts your calories in and calories out, tracks your weight, and projects weight loss.  Based on my body type and activity level it told me that I should be eating about 1250 calories a day.  That sounds low but I was totally invested in losing weight after a dark winter and a trip to Indianapolis put me at a hefty 160lbs.  I would log every morsel I ate and every workout I did.  The more calories burned, the more I got to eat because 1250 was just a net benchmark that I had to be at by the end of the day.  And I would generally stay below and the app would tell me that in about a month I should be anywhere from 146 to 148lbs.  I didn’t lose a single pound the entire time. 

So I am re-evaluating my system.  Why am I gaining/holding onto weight? Why are my legs thicker than they have ever been? Why do I feel sick, thick and lethargic at times? Why do I feel guilty about everything that I eat?  I looked back into my soccer days and thought about what I did there.  Minimal weight lifting and large amounts of explosive sprints defined my days.  And I didn’t count calories so I have no idea how much I was eating, but it was a general chunk of food every time I was hungry. 

So I brought out my new Garmin watch and ran 120yd sprints.  After ten of these full field explosive sprints, I checked the watch.  I had travelled a bit over a mile and had burned about 150 calories in the 20 minutes of work.  At LA Fitness, I can do the elliptical for 20 minutes and burn 400 calories.  And with the myfitnesspal app, I would log those 400 calories in and “earn” 400 calories worth of food.  But I wasn’t tired.  I wasn’t stressed.  And the weight was staying.  After 120s I only earned 150 calories of food;  that is 2/3 of a Clif brand energy bar.  I wouldn’t even get to eat an entire bar, and I had just worked so hard that my lungs hurt.  With sore ribs from breathing so quickly and deeply, I collapsed in the grass and contemplated my body.

I was so tired.  But I had only worked for 20 minutes.  Technically even less because of the timed breaks between sprints.  My legs hurt.  As did my lungs, abs, and tongue. 

I looked into some different internet tips and articles, I read many comments from many sources  and      formulated a plan in my mind.   The explosive working out, whether it be fast superset weight lifting or short, extremely difficult fitness, burns less calories now.  That means that although my watch only sites 150 calories burned, the stress of the exercise causes my body to continue burning calories through the day.  I mark down the 150 calories but my body continues to repair and build my muscles.  The key is not to starve myself but make sure I am still getting the net 1250 calories while using more explosive working out to completely fatigue my body beyond the means of a treadmill.  So on day 1 [Yesterday, March 9, 2013] I went over to Turtle Ridge in Newport Coast and ran hill sprints up a super steep hill.  I did 5 full hill and 10 half hills.  And my butt was a little sore and I had a bit of a headache all day.  But that is the pain that builds the body that I grew used to growing up.  It shouldn’t be easy.

Healthy eating is important too.  I can never let myself get carried away and not mention the fact that through the last four weeks and into the future I have been eating predominantly gluten-free [with a small cheat almost every day; i.e. a cracker or three] and full servings of fruits and  vegetables.  I want to get away from calories more and make sure that I get a full daily serving of everything necessary to build the body that I want.  I want to force myself to have 2 cups of fruits and 3 cups of vegetables and the right amount of protein.  Lean protein like protein shakes, Rise bars, chicken, lean beef, Greek yogurt and cottage cheese.  If I am forced to fit 5 cups of produce and somewhere around 50 grams of protein every day, I will be full.  I will not crave junky crap and I will not desire snacks. 

The experimental scientist in me is geeking out at the prospect of continuing to use my own body as a case study! Lets do this!

Slammers GU9: 2013-2014 Season

By no particular willpower or push of my own, I am not hungry today.  Maybe its my stuffy nose that makes things a bit less appealing.  Maybe I have eaten so much in the last week that my body just doesnt want anymore? Or possible its because I went to practice this morning so I didnt workout really hard until about 10am? Either way, Im happy about it.

But back to the topic at hand. Coaching. I have officially taken on complete responsibilities of my first team ever.  I have run privates and assisted on teams but this is my first go around at the helm.  This will be extremely valuable information for me to take on to a head coaching job at a college.  It is vital that I learn to run this team.  Whether or not this go-around is successful.  Frank says the most important things for me to do are [in order]: get a team manager, recruit more players, contact the woman who is in charge of the money and prices for the club, and keep them coming out to practice.  I feel as though I need to get the girls and parents started on some type of meeting.  I need to lay the ground rules for my team.  Here we go:

Parents: 1) 24hr rule, do not approach me with questions, inquiries, complaints or anything of that nature until you have had 24hrs to relax and think about the topic. 2) Please have the girls at every single practice and game unless you notify at least an hour before the time the girls are slated to arrive, here is my phone number xxx-xxx-xxxx. 3) ???

Girls: 1) We are here to learn and have fun, one can not happen without the other, bring your gameface and your thinking cap. 2) When I am talking there is no talking 3) When you get practice gear [shorts, shirts, socks] wear them to every practice. 4) When I say "BRING IT IN", last one in has to clean up the gear after practice

Thats all I have for now.  Any ideas as to what parents need to know?  The girls? Slammers GU9, looks like its going to be an exciting year!

WIllpower or lack thereof

I have a major issue.  I straight up eat too much.  I work out so hard every single day and I am not getting any thinner and I know its because I eat too much.  I cant help it.  Its like a disease.  I see a butterfinger mini bar on the counter that is "up for grabs" and I eat it.  I dont even like butterfinger candies.  My roommate bakes cookies and leaves them on the counter with a sticky note: "eat me", so I do.  I seriously cant help it.  It is so bad for my body and it is making me sick.  The gluten makes me have a stomach ache and the chocolate and butter and sugar and butterfinger cricpy crap are making me fat.  I am embarrassed by my lack of willpower.  I used to be able to resist a little bit better but in the past month or three my willpower has just dropped a ton.  A ton.  I just cant seem to help it.  I say Im going to change and I just don't.  I say "today is the day I stop eating crap" and I just don't stop eating crap.  Its not the little things either, like a little of that in my salad or some crunch on my soup.  Its straight up candy and cookies.  I need to make a change.

How?

3 is a really small number

I am down 3 pounds since I started eating healthy.  I have not been perfect.  I have had half a brownie and a tiny bit of ice cream and a chocolate pretzel from Sprouts.  I ate these all on different days over the course of the week.  But I ate healthy otherwise.  I had protien and veggies and fruits.  I also hiked Iron Mountain twice, Mt Woodson once, ran with Mom and Dad on Monday morning and Tuesday morning for a total of 18 miles, climbed the stairs for a total of 3+ hours, I lifted hundreds and hundreds of separate pounds for different muscles, biked 43 miles on a stationary bike in two different hour long sessions, walked 5miles in Del Mar, rollerbladed 3miles down Beeler Canyon, ran 6 50yd sprints up the hill in front of my house and did 100 pullups.  I lost only 3 lbs. 

Hammer TIme

Ok. So I have written here before.  I have talked about life and brownies.  And I think its time to change that.  I am starting on a diet plan.

I want to drop my body weight to 148lbs.  That will the lightest I have been since I started regularly weighing myself the previous summer (2012).  Right now I am 160lbs even.  With a pair of sweats on.  I only kept the sweats on because Im scared to know my real weight.  DOnt tell me, I know its close. Too close for comfort.  I am uncomfortable at the weight I am now.  I do not like my body, the way it functions, or the way I eat. 

According to WebMD, http://www.webmd.com/diet/food-fitness-planner/create-your-personal-plan I need to be eating about 2000 calories a day WITH excessive exercise.  The exercise is what I am good at, I love every part of sweating and the muscle burn and such.  Its the eating that I have a problem with. 

The calorie intake is important.  I need to be drinking 64oz of water.  That seems like a lot of water but it is important that I LFUSH out all the crap that I have let get into my body.  Its like a cleanse where I get to eat.  Those calories though, need to be good calories.  I am going very strictly gluten free and essentially carbohydrate free.  That means no processed grains whatsoever. Except quinoa.  I think that it is important to have a little bit of filler food so that I am not broke.  I will live off of meat, vegetables, fruit, eggs and milk.  I will allow myself legumes like lentils and beans.  Unsalted almonds and almond meal are also acceptable.

The liquids I take in are important, as stated before, for the cleansing of the toxins in my body.  I also find high stock value in green tea and nonfat milk.  The green tea has a small amount of caffiene that properly gets my body ready for the day.  Nonfat milk has valuable protiens and sugars that I feel work well in my body. 

The hardest part is going to be sticking to this diet plan on a daily basis.  So I will allow myself a cheat day.  Not the entire day of cheat meals just one or two snack that I would not be normally allowed.  I would prefer not to be sugar heavy carbohydrates, but more like a lsice of extremely grainy wheat toast or brown rice.

Well without further ado, let me shove this last bite of brownie into my face and start drinking water. The time is upon us that I must stop being FAT.

Brownie in a mug!

SO I should be doing my homework for Research Methods class. or at least finishing up my mom's present for her birthday tomorrow. But no. I got a call from a Div1 college coach and was able to discuss soccer, coaching and life with her for the good part of an hour! So while we chatted I wrote some notes and browsed the web.  After she hung up, I found myself on a cooking site. I was pretty into our conversation so I have no idea how I got there or why but I was on the page of the most mind melting and easy idea. A chocolate cake in mug. I dont even like chocolate cake that much.  But this looked genius.  Unlike the woman who wrote about the experience she had, I didnt actually make it, I just drooled over it.  And figured I would share it with you for my own selfish purposes.  Selfish purposes? Oh yeah this is the best place for me to put a note to remind myself to bake these lil suckas up :)


microwave!

• coffee mug
• 4 tablespoons flour
• 4 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
• 2 tablespoons whisked egg - 1 egg is too much, 1 egg white is too eggy, 1 yolk is too dense, but 2 tblsp is just right!
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 3 tablespoons oil
• 3 tablespoons chocolate chips
• splash vanilla or other flavoring - try peppermint or cinnamon

For a fudgier version, omit egg! Also there are reports of successful cakes that are made using chocolate pudding instead of cocoa powder so that will be the direction I most likely take due to the price of pudding vs. cocoa powder! Let me know if you like em!!